I ignore the manners sometimes
to his chagrin
but how do I want the memories
of this table to form and last
through terse reprimand or comfort
in sharing of days and thoughts
There has to be a balance found
I think
somewhere beneath the crumpled cloth
napkins we used to tie around our heads
which was strangely tolerated
and I had forgotten about
until my sister gave the toast
at my first friendly wedding
with a napkin tied around her head
I spent an entire drive North
recalling all the songs
from every cassette mixed
when that process still involved
impeccable timing and a patient thumb
Elvis, Chuck Berry, Paul Simon
prominent among so many
Which reminds me that Crosby, Stills,
Nash & Young So Far
was the first CD I ever owned
given for my 10th birthday
It used to make me chuckle
that I never stood a chance
Intangible unowned collections
just don’t hit the same
as a painstakingly gathered token
of love handwritten
Bandje voor Bar
Those smash like The Boxer’s chorus
You shined my shoes and drew
my portrait, framed
it as well as my first watercolor
Always thought I was the best
at everything, not
an insignificant weight
Never let me win at chess
but dropped your jaw
my first day back from club
with het herdersmatje
Schaakmat
You said you grieve
for the love your parents
didn’t know but tried
to find and you
trial and errored your way toward
Teach your children well, they sing
so good so far.
November 4, 2020
